The first lie: I actually did not do what I should do

It have been 3 days since I write my plan on making stupid move. I thought I should be start the project right away. But I did not. Instead, I was letting myself to be relaxed and be lazy binge reading a manga. Not doing anything useful. Not even make my kid and wife prouder to have me.

I was pathetic. I should be more disciplined. I am a 30 years old grown man. I should be more considerate of how I spent my time. I promise, That will be my last time to be pathetic. No matter what I feel, no matter if I hit a wall, I will keep showing up. Keep my self to work on something. At least, I won’t be doing what loser man do.

The second lie: I actually do not want to work for anyone anymore

I have been unemployed for 5 months now. Whenever people ask me how I am doing, I told them that this year is hard year to find a job. But deep down inside I know it was lie, I did not put my full efforts to find a job. I just casually apply a job. In fact, I have been skipping some of interviews because I dont want to. What a loser I was.

The third lie: I actually did not put my full efforts to make a living

So, the lied I told to myself and my wife when I decided to quit from my job was that I would try to make money online by dropshipping. But I did not, I just watch course, put meta ads and waste some of my money to meta.

It’s not that I did not do it at all, I just not gave my full efforts and not put my focus on it.

The bottom online

I should try to put my full focus and effort on something at a time. Because, that’s what promise actually is.