Today is 1st December 2025, not gonna lie, it feels like yesterady was 1st January 2025. Everything slipped by so quickly. Last year was a year of (I thought) a growth, both for my personal life and for my career. Last year I had a chance to actually and successfully lead a team in my office. I got a chance to see my child grow and be with him. But this year is different, due to my unwise decision, I let myself and my family to gone through a hardship.
January - May: Soulless life
In december last year, I had an 1-on-1 with my leader. Told him I was hoping to have a fair raise. He told me that won’t be possible for the next cycle. I was dissapointed, despite my achievements I actually got nothing. After that, I begin to quite quitting. I did not put my best effort to everything in the office which actually stressed me out because I actually love working and putting the best efforts. I love giving the best of me to deliver the best result. But for the first time in my life, it is not the case. It was eating me alive. I felt not being myself in this period.
June: the beginning
In june this year, I decided to resigned without any offer. It was indeed because I was dissapointed on how the office not appreciated my achievements and challanges I have gone through. But deep down inside, I know it was actually my foolishness. I should have not accepted the challanges or I should have told my bos that I don’t want leading my team anymore if there was nothing in return. But instead, I let my emotions to take control and left everything.
Right in first day being unemployed, I tried digital marketing. Took a course to learn meta ads, finding a winning products and how to close a deal. But that’s all turned out needed time and money to make a visible result when all I had just time (since I was unemployed).
July - September: naive and made a wasted efforts
So in july to august, I decided to build a digital product, a website for wedding invitation. Took two months developed it. Host it in 2 months from august to september, but no sales at all. I was naive, this market have so many competitors and I was bad at marketing.
October: Nothing, just interviews
In october, I actually did nothing. I lose all hope. I applied to more than 30 companies, but only got 2 interviews. In this same month, I got an offer as an analyst but the raise is too little while I knew in that company I will have very very long hours. So I encounter the offer to make it higher, it was approved but I will be joining in the 1st January 2026 which fine.
November: Re-make the naive product
In November, while I was waiting for my time to join the company, I chose to remake the wedding invitatio website, currently in progress but not ready yet although I was planning to launch it in the end of November.
December: Full time daddy
Yesterday, I told my wife to stop putting my child in a daycare to save some money because this month I and my child will be taking a vacation to my homevillage to meet my parents which will cost a lot.
Final Wish
I wish the offer not get canceled. Actually this office was a red flag. I kind of do not want to apply for a job anymore. Also, I promised my self to keep fighting to survive in that company no matter how toxic it will be. (P.S lot of people saying this company is big ref flag)